Day 3

Ever wondered that why we keep reflecting on our childhood thinking how beautiful it was and how much we enjoyed it like we never wanted to grow up but trust me I do understand what you intend yet I always wanted to grow up and be independent. I always wanted to explore and keep exploring however that doesn't mean that I don’t cherish my childhood memories, although there’s a truth rather a question that we never ask... why we only remember only good recollections of our childhood? only the pleasant ones, ask yourself that maybe even in the darkest time when we have nothing we scratch those balmy strings. You know why? .....because they were surreal we were surreal no tiffs no quarrels no hostile just pure emotions where even nothingness was a luxury.

It has become a routine now for Kshitij he wakes late rather say very late embracing the cuddle of the blanket and giving away at pity 11.30, got dressed early though old habits do die hard as I see.

Today there was a slight change though instead of going the adventurous way today he took a bus its silly though in a way, as here in Bangalore you’ll reach faster by walking than by the bus. Traffic maybe or maybe the route for his office is somehow designed that way I hope I can place a wink at the end of this statement.

(The lake was never supposed to be the bridge)

He reached a little late though and exactly that’s the point, he wanted to be late in the first place. Not a great way to tackle nothingness still what else to except. Did miss the gym at its expense and it’s a big loss as he has started enjoying it. Monday that’s the time he has chosen to resume again as tomorrow is Friday and after that, there’s a two day holiday. Hope procrastination doesn’t exceed further and Monday see’s the sports shoes coming again.

The rest of the story is pretty straightforward the day goes on as it always does but nothingness played another prank. Ya can see it getting smart day by day, you’ll be amazed to know that as today I got a workstation but without a desktop... well performed I'll say, see I have started accepting it adapting with it not resenting even, appreciating it and that’s what I have always exactly feared.

You know today there was a fire drill the alarms were really furious and heard I them for the first them, we always underestimate the potential of a certain thing whom we see everyday glance and gaze but just ignore like it only exists and its sole purpose is just to exist, except when it shouts it teases your eardrums with complete ease... notice potential always awaits to be converted into kinetic. The lift wasn’t working properly as only the one present in it can go down directing people to use stairs, we shouldn't be completely dependent on technology right. We escaped from the fire exit and then we were made to stand in lines according to our floors, there was a head count and to astonishment Kshitij was leading it or just was first to reach, see nothingness has its own advantage, he even answered to the organizer and hold your breath was even volunteered in an act displaying the use of stretcher. I wonder what was he thinking on the stage with one hand holding the stretcher and another resting in his pocket the way he sometimes walks an attitude of narcissism a way to reserve him for himself, imagining huge trees naked in autumn walking to his manor somewhere in Zurich, don’t laugh thoughts have no boundaries. Then in the drill, they showed how to use the fire extinguisher and later a display of artificial rain where with a huge hose they displayed the force in water the thrust which can be turned into calamity a disaster being menace taking lives and establishing destruction and chaos. Showing how vulnerable we have always been. Yet when the wind blew toward our side the force sprinkled into myriad particles so vigil and avid,  zestful and amiable drizzling all over us like those small and precise memories of childhood.... mother scolding to come back and the Kshitij I seldom see swimming in the assimilated drops of randomness. It was the drizzle that reminded a theory one he was told by friends in school signifying that foxes and hyena are getting married, again hinting how gullible I have always been, this drizzle was pure like the sprinkler where I pluck that yellow rose, cursing that plant to ever bloom again. This drizzle was a reflection of all my mistakes all my errors and all the regrets that taught something, it reminded of all the joys and smiles, where I was a hunter hunting for my shares of happiness.

While returning I saw a lot of things but one made me reminisce, there’s a man whom I see every day begging.... unlike other familiar faces trying to sell something or form fake stories to exploit good souls this one here is different his mind is braver than ours, his body language is different, cynical or nervous, I can't differentiate, he doesn’t fit the societies norm of "normal" I guess. I gave him my remaining 5 rs of the day and for next two days I saw him smoking "beedi" rather a local unfiltered cheap form of cigarette, I wonder whether my 5 rs have been a good investment or not, maybe you’re right to declare it wrong yet in the condition I see him every day the most devastating form of nothingness.... begging like a waiving wind, it pinches to have a sight of such a pain.

I wonder if smoking had provided him an ease, in form of a delusion, allowing him to hunt his own happiness as reality isn’t always sweet but it’s the daring who dwells into hallucinations knowing it’s a further step to approach an end...A step ending all the creations the final goal of nothingness….Annihilation.

By- Kshitij Sinha

23/8/2018