MIDNIGHT BLUE

I'm tired till the extent of loneliness  I cuddle myself in the vicinity of emptiness feeling your presence I lifted pen today the best friend of hard times I had But why today I smell perish, why today demise holds the essence  Have I lost trust on myself as my belief on disbelief has escalated  Why now I fear the sense of unitedness I don't share publicly, I don't shout, I love you in million ways For what even love is, expect a sweet feeling bound to come and go away I don't believe in sharing, I like to keep this feeling imbibed to myself  Yet you shared different tracks Pushing and grinding to dwell on the wheel of future I always rush loosing in the amiable bed of present  Should I be stubborn here or should I leap in the pseudo world of your tenderness  You know.. You are the perfect antonym of all the synonyms I ever craved  In that case I loved you but you.. Why you created the ripples more than I could ever reciprocate We share...

Just suddenly felt the necessity of a friend, Just suddenly desired to talk with someone Just suddenly I craved to know myself, Just suddenly felt like a stranger I never knew Me…am'I? I used to be a body filled with overflowing emotions You who masqueraded in the veil of kind, you who pushed me to the edge You who planted the infringing false ideas to express To leave my stable ambiguity, exposed to a world I always refushed to be seen You promised it'll be all okay, the indubitable lie and I persuaded Precisely like a newborn child, my age is reversed no more mature and poise One with soft fingers yet this time being capable to the sense of warmth and cold Tiny paws too lament to walk, still a memory of lifetime I adore Guilt kept motivating me to crawl, crawl and keep moving Naked and shameless crying voluntarily, this time not to seek attention This time I was the attention Like everyone else I wasn’t blessed with the gift called parents to h...

I have been like that always uncertain and unprecedent Yet so stable to be described as nobody They have seen my face, I doubt if they know my name I seldom converse with them in the end Not the long Nor even the small talk Making sure they don't forget my existence By being in the shadow, to see the specimen in it's crescent natural form I hunt there behaviour, I analyze the mask and I tarnish its presence There's no one i'm close to, nor the reverse works in my case You may think I'm just a number, making this world a crowded place One without a purpose, supporting actor at the station of sideways Do you ever questioned how I feels?  Do you ever bet among yourselves, that how weak I'm socially?  Will I approach that girl, or will walk away with shame?  Does people like me have friends?  Is there anyone who ever understands?  Haven't your prejudice already turned me into a psychopath Or what about a stalker at it's best??  What are the...

The darling sun today you shined and dear you have lured after a pretty long time Bare is my body and bare is my soul My nakedness doesn't feel cold here, neither I shiver under the vicinity of your radiant memories Peek your wisdom on my lonesome and parted eyes Today I stand to beg for your mercy, my beloved unkind Glare deep & deep till you get lost, disappeared under the seldom-told tales The one I never recite, ballet of dark and bright I kept losing my myriad admirers, sting me with the bite of your formidable desires Weren't we open books, you & I Let's today take a pause let's place our bookmarks Underneath your broad welcoming chest, today let me cry Forgive me for showering my love, forgive me for falling into your blunt smiles Sorry that I dived in your words, sorry that I drowned in your ink My body just a misfired creation of divine... Forgive me for  forgetting the vicious feelings  The feelings called emotions injected in th...

Here we are again on the same page at the same time In front of our savored restaurant The French name I can't pronounce neither my honest friend beside We sat together under the bold lamp, one which long forgot to usher any light Or my eyes too diplomatic to acknowledge it's existence Bonjour greeted the reality, the waiter in dust caressed my coax cheeks Your seat is reserved on the most decorated pavement, monsieur The tap drizzled the chlorinated perfumed water from every leak I laughed and my beloved grinned, I looked at her and she looked back at me A moment frozen for eternity isn't it anything worth doing is worth doing it slowly Poor in conversations but she didn't let the aura freeze The orchestra of ironic traffic, the tune of rush And the gush of high pitched melodies World was playing her favorite playlist, lovely that I bribed the evening The menu was vibrant, contrast, continental cuisine Exotic and scared she glanced with mischief, "Don't worr...

Please give me a drink to drink  With ice and sugar  With essence of melancholy and a taste of hunger A mixture of heinous crime imbibed in the flowing river Crimes I never committed just borrowed to be a victim Culprit of lynching power, seldom suffering from illusions  Wrapped in my blanket of cold discomfort  Now assimilate them deep, deep in the bottle of leer One I made by myself, ubiquitous like fragile despair Let's pass this threshold, let's pass this disease of acute infections  Guess we are on right track Spoke the fragrance, marked by the impairment of thermal sensitivities  Insensitive to all the prevailing emotions  Dissosiated, Disordered bilateral delusion of persecutions A theatric raincheck, gambled  on the misnomer well of future  Let's boast about luxury, mother of excitation and inhibitions  Slowly and precisely stolen from venus Nurtured on hallucinations, blend the mixture with precious levenders W...

A gold fish, guess it’s a childish start but still what do you expect from me what do you expect from a beginner, a toddler a three year old dramatic kid trying to find that leader chaos has. Yes I may like to just turn some pages backwards, why not have a small grin and ode to a personality I was as a kid free ambitious, bold, and curious seeker like a gold fish. You know there’s an interesting fact about this creature, that even it doesn’t knows it’s own potential, it’s unaware of all the things it can achieve and the extend till which it can grow, develop and proceed. Don’t trust me, than why not try it by yourself, place a gold fish in a small bowl, the fish won’t grow and will remain that cute and timid to all extend. Now let’s play the same game a little differently, place it in a pond you will be amazed to find a masculine huge beast, a devil dressed with eccentrically huge fins. The fish has an amazing ability to adapt, to smile an...

There’s a park in the town I live and yes apart from the other’s it’s beauty is still intact because it’s a secret a well nurtured and garnished one. Isn’t it that  anything which is unknown has always find a way to intrigue us to impulse and generate a code, of that curious child one which won’t settle, one who refuse to be bounded by the monotonous cycle of predictability packaged as a life of routine. That child will explore twinkle rush and ask, that child would do anything to know which is and which isn’t possible. Obviously this can't be done unless you go, unless you explore, unless you see touch and ask yourself "is really it the end or just the beginning" . In between this park of curiosity there lies a swing attached at the end of the third world, with several trees planted back to it, a complete  forest of everything that's lost and everything that's searched. The forest of all your answers, the one where you won’t be ...

The evening beauty is hard to cherish Is it? Or it's you who has made it? Romanticism in the conscious, why not let's play this new game Wind does encircles me Tight enough to caress, yet not strong enough to fly Whom to blame the physical humane or the spiritual bird inside So did passed the lady in red Someone I couldn't talk, someone I used to talk Someone I used to know, perfect strangers as she would say I'm obliged Dear gold fish Wonder why you never complain or fight Why you smile when we converse Why you swim and dive in the solitary River Your abode of alone and lonely Fins of sympathy Our gifted problem of millennium, just can't close the eyelids and pursuit to slumber Can't sleep dwelled in thoughts of you, hatred and love plucking flowers predicting your moves I require moments and several moments of amalgamation Being combined and joined the distorted thoughts Finding ways every night to follow beneath, till the breath breaks Hav...

The journey of thousand puff begins from a single match If you don't go you won't know the answers your curious mind craves Why they do what they do, someone like me and you? Whole detour encapsulated in a lifespan, lifespan of that first cigarette Light it to ease your brain, slow your heart with the smooth drags you'll inhale Consuming and absorbing fumes of everything capable of seeing you dead Do welcome the smoke garnished like an old lost friend Make it comfortable and let it explore nurture and grow under the vicinity of your body Broken and swallowed, desperate for tangible signs of faith But can faith fathom the delicate moment of its own detachment? With every breath you exhale you exhale something alive Soon you'll fall in love, high in the fantasies of this beautiful exploit The stick which doesn't converse, the victim which never asks or complain What else you require in this bonding of master and slave The killer kills you slowly but it k...

The home so closed by mine is to yours Hearts so far and distant mine is to yours My windows the culprit and victim, why static is your smile? Isn't it strange what Lucidity could hide Again the melodies of jingle screeched, a false memory under the spreading massacre I sold you and you sold me Sometimes I peek, fearing I fantasize the untold glimpse Easy to reciprocate what you have been tamed for ages How little is little? Guess why you left the question unanswered? Forgetting who was I, an unwelcomed spectator The neighbor of your cries, the nurturer of your broken soul See it's the full moon night, today again the harsh hands will gamble in shadows Yes I know you were abused and yes I precisely knew when you were beaten Dear it hurt me too, preserve my condolences What about praying for your tributes? Tributes for the burning tributaries carved on your bare skin The physical you corroded in parched acid The sensitive me couldn't touch the randomnes...

How're you?? I always wondered what will you reply Knowing want a man wants, you know who he is and how to move him I survive on pain, why just why would I starve Don't forget We are parallel lines, always together Destined to meet, till infinity my hunger will reside The game you won precisely when you lost miss foreseen Zero sum game undoubtedly defeat is the only thing you expect Wild decisions in the wildest dreams meant only to annihilate Reduced to nothing the glass I created for myself Good you went, better you played, best you let the dice float Control is an illusion the only probability you'll ever had Numbers of delusion the insomniac dwelled under the thrill of suspense Myriad patterns, defined algebra & the impromptu speech Masqueraded as the extempore which took filigree of lifetime to fake The honeycomb where every randomness is something you already prepared Do you dare stay out? or do you go in? Right or left up or below to proceed or not? Maybe thr...

Feels like pouring yourself underneath the deep blue sky A numb and fragile splash, one I never imagined and one I never expected An everlasting promise to get lost, once and forever into foreseen To rest on the cradle of introspection, Pushed by the lament cries Elevate me high all of a sudden make me feel alive Do question on the hues of autumn As the leaves diverge, let's disperse the memoir freed from mankind Never ever I have held so deeply at once Attached to all but detached from myself So still..yet present in this ambiguous world Whatever is on my mind today I'll say it, chorus that's how I feel it Today I'm truthful to myself, I'm young and I'm old I have been borrowed and I have been sold Just choked and strangled by the web of unknown Air is no longer required to breathe, captivated my soul empty and numb Like a wild fish jumping into sparkling water Ocean of delusion without any boundation to reality Fiction is my bibliography lo...

It's a complete dark epilogue as someone passed by The vibrant light he holds, haunted was my passerby Running an algorithm from top to bottom, senile were my eyes Dilated my pupils being baffled and wounded, just couldn't see the serpentine Silently I grasped the silence as expensive noise flooded limelight Running in the rush of truce, I was in an ambush so quite So quiet as not to even utter a word, only the jingling rattles As the communication wasn't verbal surely not even sane Sillhoute faces dense and viscous, do judge and call me insane All my fears together at once, once in the masquerade of everything I loved The spiders creeping over my head close was the web of lust Slithered the snakes of greed, echoes of all that hurts Hsh.... the grip is something which can't be understood only felt Feel all the wrongs you have made, feel the ripples of sins you create Feel your cherished breath faithfully breaking away As your temperature drops as your ...

Tickling drops of water or subtle fountain from your fervor eyes Doors of which you closed, leaving the captive dreaming inside Frozen like your plans, lingering beneath the nuances of your voice Fragile the vows we made sensitive the monologues we shared The threshold we crossed, delicate photons that illuminated the night Under the azure sky witnessed the death of rogue rebels Murdered by the cliche of your sabotaged crimson smile Was I yours? Were you mine? How to solve the enigma of your complicated subtle rhymes Without similes, Without metaphors Just the signature of your personified irony A whisper to dandelions, the sailors always silent in troubled times Like the whole world disappears and nothing else matters Nothing has spread faster than the darkness of seeing you passing by Yes, I solemnly refuse to accept the reality Memory an eternal rumor, a permanent state of affair a failed voyage in ignorance Why we fought? why the...

Dear Moavi, Ok for now, I’m your last and only hope so better do what I say only to imagine the thoughts the way I’m going to allow them to dwell. So for beginning better to find a comfortable chair take deep breaths and feel my voice tickling over your lucid body. I can be your friend, your lover, your fiancé or even you I exist all at once and I’m not even there at all, now I’m going to decorate you in the veil I have designed precisely for you, the veil of silence for the kind of silence you need for the kind of peace you have always wanted to achieve. You’re doing great and yet I don’t have any further complaints to make, whatever happened wasn’t good yes it wasn’t whatever you learned from that…but does that even matter, still there’s an eternal truth which we can’t change one you can’t forget one which doesn’t need to make sense yet apart from our memory time just can’t be manipulated. Yes, I can see that curious look in your eyes the simpler window to your soul but let’s p...

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken Here I stand baptized today absorbing all and declaring all in the name of you What’s yours is universal and what’s mine is all yours, do forgive me Lord as I have sinned I lost belief in sanity, I got scared by the knife of slayers Scared of the wonders you presented and scared of the Inferno in violence Scared of the plagued genocide, the forgotten gospel, and the commandments you guide Your silence is heavy, a painful burden I just can’t hide History has a memory, undying and eternal As in that veil, forever I shall remain My bones are crumbling, devoid emptiness has become my mind Lost is my soul, don't penetrate my spirit as there’s nothing holy in me anymore  I cry deep beneath, I shiver with every losing breath Your vengeance has kept me alive in this tyranny of evil man F...

Here again today I hold the book of love, Scary enough to feel the emptiness As I was a fly, she always enjoyed chasing away Decoration of power over the stone broken and unbroken from ages Shifting, splitting coming to light, thriving, dissolving, decomposing and dying Flourishing the plague of agony, the demolishing pain persuading cacophony Stronger atrocious but acumen, Departure of autumn the only cradle I had  Transparent as the skin of a newborn child Despite all the charmed secrets, you masqueraded the wallowing lies Laugh and Laugh the punctuated rescue of counterfeit ripples Mistakenly driven the ingredient of big smile, is it ok to accept the void??  Peace! Passivity! And submission, man long lost yet turned into poet I was gullible swayed by the arrogant, yearning for revenge For me, nothing has changed and nothing was same anymore Detached and absorbed, intoxicated I sing the glory of solemn and distant Malicious or unfortunate, just...

Fight every battle, everywhere in your mind, everyone is your enemy and everyone is your friend. Every possible series of events are happening all at once. Live that way and nothing will surprise you. Everything that happens will be something you have seen before. Let’s be calm have a comfortable seat make your spine straight long bend are memories. Today don’t let your past sway don’t let the disappointments persuade, just today we’ll rejoice being failed in every convinceable way. Today we’ll play the game of accusations and acceptance today we’ll tangle to be strangled in billions of events, where every broken heart is right only to be wrong with every single expectation you carried all the way. Yes, you have the liberty to think let’s start with someone you love or loved, someone you envied or admired as it’s more painful that way, it’ll resonate the echoes of lament, those I want to cherish willingly to exploit the consciousness. Unleashing the weak you, grieving for sym...

Dear Moavi, (Part1- Patience) I guess it’s been too long since the last time we converse and its string of long shared bonding that we share with us. I wonder all those years how would I have survived if it wasn’t you all those talks all those jokes which just you could laugh at, haven’t just erased from my mind they’re there in the folder of unforgetful memories and I just linger to dwell over them turning the pages of an epitome melody. I stand today in front of you piercing my sharp pen over your tinder pages just jotting and bolting down those wild thoughts keeping pace and harmony with the lost and the forgotten. Like the replica of someone I lost, someone I used to admire in glittery shiny mirrors. Still like the old days still savored those flatteries of words we exchanged, even today you didn’t protest the assault even today I ripped you apart more gruesome than I thought. Still why you didn’t utter to resist the freeway rape, why you have been so kind to me dear. Why...

Tomorrow was a different day and yet it was different indeed With the only difference of being kind enough to present a genuine scream Although not being a great believer but for once I accepted the accusations of being real Capable of maintaining the flow not drowning yet sinking upward in the turbulent metaphors Don't comprehend yourself as the tears joked A masterpiece of cause and effect in chaos Holding the dilemma of everything that passed by Not being judged by the passerby Today they didn't ignore, as there was a guilt of willingness One I fought for in abandoned shrines One, the verdict always rejected every time I, fortunately, woke early today instead of hiding behind the gala of secluded menace dreams I felt the courage of facing the reflection, now in reality Today only to be surprised and obligated As an eternal paradox rose from the atrociously decorated ashes Finally, delusion sprinkled the amalgamated drops of drunk essence I'm yours, a ...

Dear Future Wife, I don’t know where you’re or even what you are up to but I hope you’re happy and reading maybe from Dickens to Darwin maybe works of Aristotle or Dante’s divine comedy, could be a love story if you wish or maybe exploring the depths of Wordsworth as I’ll always wish to be accompanied by you on the journey of complexities faced by Oliver to the lessons of pride and prejudice we can travel being the merchant of Venice surfacing Othello to Macbeth as you would never fail in teaching me the meaning of love while flickering the pages of Romeo and Juliet whatever you wish I’ll always be there with you as I hope yes you’ll be reading and you read a lot keeping yourself always surrounded by books evil and good thoughts in your lovely sanctum of peaceful sanctuary like a mesmerizing anywhere door from the captivating tales of two cities maybe the Victorian era if you prefer but at-least the picture of Dorian Grey and 1984 are my personal recommendations. As I’m eagerly wai...

I was proud of myself I admired my car my bank balance Luxury was my life, a serious comedy Not more not less Until I met her and amusingly she replied Unlike you I follow my passion, I do what I enjoy Envy me, be jealous if you like Does that hurt, In a way it did The rebel writer rose for a while, forgetting there's always a blamed engineer One who doesn't choose me Neither did I, as our engagement wasn't a mutual consent Unknowingly our faith did collide Some hesitate to resist In this world, it's always easy to condemn With kind society in the bubble of settled flames Not so hard, keep exploring for alibies Have been habitual to uprising in suppression Dilemma and chaos has always done the magic of endless creation I was never a captain, admired being sailor Sharpen your tools..... Anchor was mine, instructions were not With destruction a simple preventive to predictive adaptation A sailor of soulful ship, a lust for the journey No goal,...