She said 'NO'

Just suddenly felt the necessity of a friend, Just suddenly desired to talk with someone
Just suddenly I craved to know myself, Just suddenly felt like a stranger I never knew
Me…am'I?
I used to be a body filled with overflowing emotions
You who masqueraded in the veil of kind, you who pushed me to the edge
You who planted the infringing false ideas to express
To leave my stable ambiguity, exposed to a world I always refushed to be seen
You promised it'll be all okay, the indubitable lie and I persuaded
Precisely like a newborn child, my age is reversed no more mature and poise
One with soft fingers yet this time being capable to the sense of warmth and cold
Tiny paws too lament to walk, still a memory of lifetime I adore
Guilt kept motivating me to crawl, crawl and keep moving
Naked and shameless crying voluntarily, this time not to seek attention
This time I was the attention
Like everyone else I wasn’t blessed with the gift called parents to hold
No one to guide and no toys to play with or go
My milk teeth’s too weak to eat and luckily there wasn’t anyone to feed
Soon time changed people grew & they emerged..They evolved and they learned
Learned the language to communicate…
One I considered too primitive to shout what a fool has to say, fool like me 
Just like the bottles unable to put on their lid on themselves
They built the bondage of bonding homes but I loved the sky’s presence
Scared and feard I kept running, hiding in the unexplored avenues
And you thought I’m an unplanned traveler, change is the true nature of everything constant
In reality I never grew at all, still the same child but more weak and vulnerable
Dependent on your unfinished meal, still naked, still crying 
Learning in the ages, I vouched for myself
Long lost my cloth of self esteem
My hands have acquired wrinkles & my legs paralyzed with eternally ephemeral pain
I was secure in my mask, I had a dwindling banal smile
I greeted everyone passing by, juvenescence radiated my face...
My youth was picture perfect, the domino of ripples one without an end
No feelings running wild, no expectations for greed, no desires to be fulfilled
Running baffled and helpless, isn't it fun for you seeing the world being merciless

I was a proud dead then, unlike the frozen miserable carcass dieing with the flow of tides
At the bank of introspection I envy you and you envy the irony of I

By- Kshitij Sinha
21/11/2017

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