Bud

The last bud left... Sighing relief in his last breath
I hope he had a comfortable life and i hope he'll know how much I'll miss that beautiful part of his existence 
Don't know where I'll be in the next bloom 
Even alive or shattered to dust 
Will i be able to make him proud 
Or I'll be just forgotten 
Couldn't hold you in those last moments.. Couldn't cure the pain nature gave
Who am I.. Except the one who just grieves in disguise
Who am i..except a happy face
The moon will question with heavy eyes .. Indeed he was a better keeper 
Then I was at any time 
A better friend than me
Your journey was always deprived of me .. who am I .. except for an empty empathy . A void in all those memories .. I was actually a void 
Never been and never will be .. never perfect yet not present 
I have stolen you from that powerful branch of happiness I tried to give you a little benevolent life 
And in fact the same thing happened all the time .. I failed 
Now there is no point in shouting, there is no point in hiding or fleeing I am your culprit .. forgive me 
And in my guilt I will pray .. to see you again Again in a better place
Your branches didn't broke because of time
They broke as they can't hold the burden of my shattered dreams
Indeed a burden i was.. A liability yet you still chose to stay
You chose to smile but how I'm supposed to reciprocate 
You left so easily dear
No goodbye no tears
Was i that bad
You have closed all the doors for me
To whom I'm supposed to share the darkest tales
With whom I'll stand in cold morning's 
And whose hairs I'll caress in thought less states
You went so easily.. Indeed i was that bad

By-Kshitij Sinha
4/06/2020

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Once you tell me something

Once you tell me something it can't be retracted It's like flickering light in northern twinkling stars...A domino of separation of anguish and anger  Blizzards On the sea far from all but coastal Remember in the tiny cafe you sat facing this summer, A book of introspection as you flipped the pages Pages of the chapter titled " Once you tell me something it can’t be retracted" Your whole body changes... The way you smell, Your reflection How it feels when you avoid my touch Like a distant moon, you shower your lights in the despair of meadows and in the blink of midnight The us will be no more than a victim you and a distant I Killing me in the leaching presence Leaving me at the mercy of mine a parasite of my own demise I’ll see it as an ephemeral moment of evaporating droplets, It’s a struggle to hold or to let you go now Yet all I could ever do is to observe and comprehend in hindsight "You’ll say my detachment has grown stronger and I no longer feel...
Read more

Non Zero Sum Game

Conversation between them She: Sometimes he sits on the terrace stargazing, Deeply fallen for I do not know t whom: like he makes me fall for all his art. I stare at him. Like he is staring at that empty sky. I grab his hand, point it towards the darkness and then towards me, telling him I am his star. He: Who is that he.. Is he or is he you Is he everyone around.. One trying to weave his dreams on the rotten grounds Does speaks or does he hears.. Is he even alive or he does stares... Staring at hollow nights Where I'm not just a person I'm a myth.. A star of skipped sleep She: You say I am a myth, And you my love, are a star of skipped sleep. You slip into the mornings;  And I slip into some more darkness. They say stars are the past we see, May be that is why, we shall meet at the distant horizon, where the sky touches the sea. He: A montage of crimson yet pale sky Aren't we all ill.. fallen over what he have and what we'll never possess What is an horizon.. Except a ...
Read more

Cafe with the red door

 My words they don’t speak to me anymore…They have gone silent. I tried to write a monologue ended up with a paraphrased well-rehearsed dialogue where it was me my pen a barren thoughtless ambitionless dire dread sunken low endless void sheet of paper a truce I was determined to extract a reunion of me and the words a paraphrased well-rehearsed melody. I’ll call my new testament a revelation yet again the door was shut a creek on the bolts and a sudden jolt as all that was left was a seer clear serene vaccume devoid of light sound hope dreams and the desire to get up…I was paralyzed my hands were trembling my pen aching to move an inch, to explore the great run of meadows some description of waves mountains the wind playing with your hairs a cuddle under moonlight cigarette’s after ages few stanza about the windows the first ray of sun and all the words that rhyme, my pen aching to move an inch succumbed to the wounds of fantasy a café with red door and a table peering all that y...
Read more