About the palpitating heart and the missing beats

About the palpitating heart and the missing beats
Who am I except words and the pages that don't meet
//Who am'I except the thoughts of nothingness
//Who am I except a closure that still awaits
I have always wanted solitude that's the only thing I ever wanted to achieve
They say Geminis are filled with duality
That's a gift or curse?
I can't differentiate as it'll be an injustice duality I comprehend
Injustice to an ingredient that constitutes my existence
I can't make choices, I can't completely risk, I can't crawl but I have also failed to run instead
About the palpitating heart and the missing beats
I wish I could be focused and I wish I could have been less random yet more practical and sane
I wish to have failed less and disappointed more
Who am I except a trail of barefoot and nakedness
Who am I except a moon with no stars to glare
About the palpitating heart and the missing beats
I have always imagined myself traveling.. the destination is unknown but the path is certain
Certain is what except all I have never believed
I have always imagined myself alone in a truce with million personalities I carry, I listen and I obey
What is truce except for a pact, an ambiguous antonym of all the synonyms it craves
I wish I could spread my word and poems
I wish that the world could fall into my frequency and exactly in that subtle precise moment...
I'll transcend into a new frequency being only mine and mine alone
You can call me a narcissist or a man not of his own words
A counterfeit coin who loves itself so much....that it fears to be spent
I don't trust love even being committed, neither I believe in one
Who am I expect a bundle of insignificance and an epiphany
A joy I can't search and a scent whose fragrance doesn't trust itself
About the palpitating heart and the missing beats
A probability at it's best, neither mine nor yours neither her nor of them
Who am I except a verse... Written without any ink
Still why the stains remain foreseen
Still why lifting the pen was a mistake at first place?
Who am I except a reality...Residing in an adobe you'll never reach or sustain

By - Kshitij Sinha
22/9/2018

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