The kite and plane theory

From childhood i have a fantasy for remote control gadgets like its mine incomplete childhood fantasy i always wanted one but never had, once I rebled and finally got one like a child also has its own methods and that's the time when you first have encounter with self harm a perfect way to get things and to make you believe it's self harm which can be your friend in despair weather in reality it's the opposite it's a way to seek attention to make yourself and your feelings known searching for sympathy and i do understand that in my own way, so I was extremely  happy and elated to have it like owning a private island and being the only pirate, but my happiness didn't lasted long it vanished with the arrival of my cousin brother I was told you're elder but being me i wasn't easy to convince yet even after my disapproval it was gifted i felt like losing the love to know i was never the lover but things never stop they keep moving i vowed then never to talk with my parents or even eat yet I broke it no doubt I wasn't good in promises sooner someone brought a remote controlled aeroplane and i was so thrilled it used to fly above our house and I prayed for it to fall to realize i wasn't sad because of my unrequited desire but because of someone else living it , I cried to my father pleading to brought it as a child not realizing things come with a price and sometimes we have other priorities to look for some choices have to be blend and bend for others to climb over it you may call the world cruel but you only have one world sooner or later you have to except it.
Seeing my despair my impatience my father brought a kite although I never learned to fly it asking him to make it reach a limit when it's head is high the mast elongated and tight, thread so calm yet the power to cut if the enemy strikes flying it i felt powerful unlike battery it used wind not so friendly always, yet it makes you learn diplomacy i felt great empowered. It wasn't the kite that was flying it was my naft ego and greed with every flight i felt different and soft beneath like a burden lifted i imagined how would it be to fly to feel the wind to spread your wings, it make me happy gave a false hope maybe but it cared and that's all I needed even in our lives all we require is just a bit of care and attention to know there is someone standing beside you even in dark someone to hold you someone giving there breath when you're drowning just like a kite running wild in azure sky.
And one day to my amazement that plane fell on our roof and when the owner came without any hesitation I returned it with Such a broad smile that even made me question was that really me but you know when you love someone you long for them not cry morn or harm yourself as if you do you only desired but never loved
You put a step close to them and they put two.

By- Kshitij Sinha
29/12/2016