MIDNIGHT BLUE

Papillon your violet rays From dusk to dawn all i hear is your name In my shadow in the maze, in the darkest of hollows and in the brightest of days Searching finding exploring and down to desperate knocks  Peeking in shadows to meaningless monologues  Papillon your rays have gone dismal  Your presence so dull and cumbersome Brittle is your dogma and no-one you have become From the sting of chaos to the questions of breeze, I wonder if you still ponder existence in the sea Your music is a repetition of full moon nights and under only new moon you’re now found What are you scared of and why you desire to be fearless  Why you have locked up the curiosity and why you answer only in nods A bit close for comfort... how far you have wandered and how far you'll risk to remember Out of sight...invisible you're now in front of all the eyes Papillon!! Papillon !! my beloved Papillon  Papillon your violet rays From dusk to dawn all i hear is your name I was in a boat and I...

As it rains and as I'll dwell in the finest of red The music of Lo-fi and the drops of disguise What has brought you here? I asked "The crave of your presence" tepid drops replied As I'll light and drag the cigarette of death As I'll asphyxiate my lungs to the extent On edge above you, me, and everyone else Soon my presence will be lost...Soon my touch, my hands, my kiss, and our talks  Soon they'll be nothing more than just a regret of past It's been a week since I left...Tomorrow it'll be a decade And as I'll wake up...it'll be an eternity of mindfulness A mind where was you and your thoughts A mind fixated on them...holding and never lettig go of your arms As it rains and as the leaves turn green As the seed grows into a tree...Pigeons will find their abode Squirrels will be up and running...Under the hue of the sky Everyone will have their home Chasing a four-walled cocoon...It'll be me Without a shelter, nobody to call my own By: Kshit...

Our last meeting has turned my world upside down It has washed all my prejudice and it had made me question my existence To be or not to be...What have I found and what have I lost I had really forgotten how she looked until I saw her again then again and again...A second before the second and a second after the second Intertwined in the polaroids of dreams...Soon I'll be revolving in the orbits of both known and unknown  An escape velocity of monochromes in the waves...Ripples of past imperfections and a shattering existence Indeed the old settling vibrations will take over, my walls will be raised and the path to castle will be erased  Sooner than soon there will be peace...Sooner than soon will there ever be peace? Our last meeting makes me contemplate and question What was this sudden upsurge, this vivid enunciation of emotions amidst the whirlpool of numbness The vortex amalgamated with annihilation, suffocation and freedom Wasn't it new, Wasn't it beautiful and Is it ...

Dear Moavi, I am in love...A love I never was capable of and a love I'll never harbor in my life Dear Moavi, I'm in pain, pain to realize there's an endless ocean of pain that I reside and Pain to know she'll never be mine In this letter, I have come to pen down today...In the mourning of my heart where I want your shade of warmth Why this unfathomable loneliness...Why this puzzle of intertwined emotions I couldn't comprehend Is this person really me? Dear Moavi, help me escape my mind...It demands mutiny  To hold her hands to kiss on her forehead to keep peering at her radiant face and to spread my arms to enclose all of her  To battle to die to be reborn and to count the breaths of lifetime  I know it's her, the one I always looked for the one I waited and waited for yet why I couldn't find her earlier I'll be moving away Dear, Wasn't that the point...To experience loneliness despair helplessness and to understand melancholy as it is... I never hav...

 It had flooded the streets today...were you crying, dear? It was an ambush among the truce...why so distant dear? The warmth in the cup of coffee served in the coldest condolences In our attic hidden from the world, a whisper of yours and laughter of mine Your tears and my handkerchief soaked in the warmth I have longed  Isn't it boring when I always flinch in rescuing the drowning thoughts  Why won't you close your eyes...Why won't you let me kiss your forehead The daze in turquoise tales of the sky The lake of crimson and a shallow goodbye Why do I have to let you go? Why it's always me losing all the time...Weren't you the one  To hold you to cuddle and to collapse in you...To be yours in the brightest and the darkest  Weren't you the home...Your idea's conspired of emotions and its emotions where I lacked If I had to love someone that would be you It I had ti be with someone...I'll always choose you If there's someone with all the answers...I...

 What words do I have left What metaphors are there to personify again Should I take refuge back in the rain, mountains, and autumn Or accept the secluded summon of silence Isn't it the same...the cycle of phases To accept to attach to detach and to fluctuate Wasn't it now that I was ready to love The depth of your eyes... The pupils singing lullabies and novice mine, just trying to adjust with the aura you imbibe It was now that I could feel your touch To draw you close and closer to whisper in wind, knowing every single word has reached your realm To be one and to be yours...In the brightest of days and in the darkest of hours The fountain the boat...The lotus and the gust of separation I know we met in the timelines forbidden I wish you'd stay and I wish you felt the home I had constructed for you in me The way I was trying to manifest mine in you Black swan of mine...the prized possession of mine What are you running away from what are you chasing and what all have...

 Dear Moavi, I lost my emerald day before yesterday or an eternity ago as since it has gone I have forgotten the difference between two, the intricacies of time and the myriad sunrises they feel like an incessant loop I wake up I look at my finger I tap trying to feel that metal and the depth of the green calmness pushing the loose end back through my thumb and now I feel a void, it's just not there even after knowing this fact I still keep on repeating the same process, again and again, hoping that it'll return or maybe I was not ready to let it go, speaking of which are we ever ready to let something go...maybe if there's a hostile repulsive thought of running away from a particular moment or a place we feel elated that we chose the step and are now out of it but can this act be called as letting go since we never accepted it at the first place. I feel this maze here as I sit in the house that my parents have brought or rather say it's an apartment which I never wante...

As it rains in the meadows and pines As it rains and as it drizzles  I wonder in silence...my thoughts ambushed and stranded It's just me who they have allowed to enter  A walk beyond the answers...What questions should I ask? Isn't that a question in itself It's just me whose presence I feel It's me alone...Next to the fire in solace Next to the stone calming the wrath of river Melting with the fresh snow...Rising with the sun In the warmth of your arms, my skin has turned pale It's the sickness I could avoid...Yet I refuse to be found On the porch tinkering...Hush as the waves I could sense a river...Ripples in the fragment of existence Somehow it's me in all the places both real and dreamt Somehow it's me in all the words both said and unsaid Somehow it's me and the transit...last in the queue I stand Is it how it feels to be lost and left Is it how it is to be in love with unknown Not just past perfect...but present continues  As it rains in the mead...

 Dear Moavi, It's been long and yes it feels like we haven't met in ages. I do look for you in places both real and imaginary in the wake life and in the world of dreams. I have been searching for you and yet it's me whose lost, I wonder where you are and I question that if you even acknowledge the whispers I murmur so loud, it's been tough and it's been difficult, there are questions I can't find answers to and there are the vivid ones that I choose to ignore yet it's the isolation that I find myself in, like an endless well where it's me and where I was supposed to feel your presence...I have stopped enjoying things and I couldn't feel again it's troubling me to sleep and when I'm awake somehow it feels that I haven't closed my eyes in epochs, it's a devour of purpose and the sight of witnessing everything go...An endless dark tunnel where even light feels so banal and meaningless. I feel so thirsty that even the water doesn't p...

It echoes and it resonates...It whispers and it fluctuates To be nobody and to be everyone else On the walls of my solemn castle, I could witness the ivy growing A trench coat on the mountains of monsoon so banal yet profound The beauty I observed engulfed the abyss...only to close the doors in dark Does it takes courage...Willing to be apart? It has rained and yet you devour me of thirst Kind your demeanor too perfect to trust Like a nascent wine, I feel your touch Treading down the windy road Persuasion and Persistence aged under cherry blossoms I wonder and question what all you had taken and why was it always the void that i could provide A leaf trapped in your book...A leaf that was once mine To remember is understandable but unnecessary  Like boat in downstream you sailed...Dear don't you worry Don't you question...Where am'I It was understandable but now unnecessary Regards - Kshitij SInha 16/01/2022

Some people speak loud, some speak slow Some whisper, some sway and slither, some always tune to perfect pitch And some doesn't speak at all Some feel the fresh snowflakes...Some whine and queer Some elate with joy some shiver and surrender to freeze A peaceful death wrapped in a myriad compromise  Wasn't snow just a rhetoric metaphor...It's the warmth that some couldn't abide Ever wondered how we can take the picture of the wind As it plays with the golden leaves...ready to detach in a chaotic autumn Coming closer playing with your hairs She whispers...I had never left Ever questioned how the fireflies synchronize And yet we slept in the darkest of nights Some close their eyes...and some were born blind And Some refuses to see Somehow the day I left the pen was the day I wrote I had various names and yet you called me your home Green as Ivy, pale as Ivy Accepted- unaccepted, desired, and neglected, neither yours nor mine Some people fall to gravity...Some rise from it ...